.

Death is to life as the last page is to a book,
Its never complete till the last page.

__________________

My Weekend As A Girl

Well, the holidays so far, Friday night, I stay back at school till like 7 o'clock, on the last day of term to write up a physics report thing that I had a month to do but started on the last day of the term... although the idea of it is real shit but Kalejs (our physics teacher) told us like 4 hours of dirty funny stories that he shouldn't tell students. This made this part of the night well worth it.

Then after some bad organising skills by nine thirty me and my friend are both wearing dresses at his house; drunk, alone... however this all becomes worth it by the time we finally get a lift to a girls only party; which involved a pillow fight and other rewarding situations, (but no hook up or anything) Although my friend passed out outside, passing out for the fourth weekend in a row it was still a rewarding affair.

Saturday night i rock up at another friends house to find 6 or so people in a car; after about... 4 hours of watching the simpsons we start watching Love Actually; I'm sitting alone while one friend gets hit on despite having a gf, and the girl having a bf; and another friend gets his first hj outside. I'm incredibly tired and now just angry, after eventually going to another persons house to sleep at like three, i cant get to sleep at all despite having to fight it for several hours before hand, aaand i have work the next day at 10.

Anyway while i couldn't sleep i wrote this down on a napkin.

.
What's done is done!

And I'd say fuck the past
But i can see the future
And i dont think that this is gonna last
Without the guidance of my mistakes
The guidance of my mistakes
The guidance of my mistakes

I can't talk, I cant see
I cant live;
Without the guidance of my mistakes
The guidance of my mistakes
I'm tied of my mistakes

I'm alone, so alone,
And I'm fucking tired
I'm tired of my mistakes
I'm tired of my mistakes
So Tired of my mistakes

...




And now I'm sick and i dont think i can go to the tea party tomorrow.

...Y'al Final Paso.

I'm lost.

The Climb

Today at work some lady was buying jeans for someone she knew, she asked me to hold the jeans up to myself cause i was roughly the same size or build as the kid or something, and then she told me that she used to look after him, and that now she was looking after him again, and that now he has a real bad drug problem... and that he had the right too as his father had murdered his mother...

Hectic as fuck.

Really puts things into perspective.




p.s i just lolled cause i almost named this entry as "Highway to Hell" for absolutely no reason.

In The Picket Fence Cartel...

Well, I think something is finally happening in my life. Just started year 12, starting to get that i'm in year 12 now... Goonwave is finally coming, a "festival" of cheap and nasty alcohol with probably nastier music; which i have been looking forward to for well... at least nine months. And it is only now that i realise the things i look most forward to are getting drunk to the point of memory blanks and playing horrible music as i conclude from it that i am infact still somewhat arty; something which is probably untrue, or at least not true the current excretments I've left around. Although their will be some good music played at goonwave obviously, but I didn't write it, I play bass, 'cause it's simple and involved little to no musical ability, or at least at the stage i'm at.

But more to the point, I live looking forward to getting drunk and subpar cheap forms of entertainment, because i'm too lazy to imply other forms.

I don't know, what am i supposed to look forward too?

Lol just had some form of flashback to like watching disney shows on a saturday mornign and how all the ones that were set on like teenagers or kids really, for example "Norman Normal" who all he wanted to be normal, and i never understood and thought it was the such a stupid idea for them to wish to be normal, as normal i saw as average and unimaginative. and just then i realised that is what i wanted. Or infact that is what i am, Fucking Normal, average underachieving 17 year old.

Same goes for when i saw the year 12s who fucked around and didnt do their work and just wanted to get drunk, from when i was like year 7 i didnt understand. And now, look at me. What a Fucking Legend.

"In the picket Fence Cartel, We all become what we most dislike"

Even with that i thought, how could anyone be that stupid or lazy to become what they most dislike... My year 5 Teacher would be so disappointed lol. i used to be awesome haha.

Wow this fucking blog changed direction a fucking bit. I started off writing to commend myself on something great possibly beginning. Fuck.

From Now on, again...



Original EP with those Picket Fence Cartel lyrics "Plastic memories" is the song

The Ugly Organist

Ever sorta admire or envy someone because they do everything that little bit better then you, but you're like its ok because I have this one thing that I'm better at, they cant change that =)

AND THEN THEY TAKE THAT FROM YOU!

And you should be happy for them cause that makes them pretty fucking awesome.

but no... fuck them, i want something.